I work primarily with teens and young adults, using Mentoring as a means of offering them guidance, training and preparation for real life. Unlike psychotherapy that works from a problem orientation, based on offering treatment from within a clinical relationship, I work from a positive bias, focus on strengths and on what works. I then train them to build on their strengths and to learn for themselves the things that work, expending their repertoire of skills and deepening and broadening their understanding of life.
The relationship in Mentoring is very different. In addition to meeting in person anywhere from multiple times a week to a few times a year, my clients call me (or text or IM) constantly, as life is happening… as do many of their parents.
I use all these things they call about to help them learn to not have that same thing they are calling about be a problem again in the future when it inevitably comes up. This far more personal kind of relationship and presence in their lives, also allows me to have clients all over the world. I’ve gone to their games, been to their homes, visited them in college… even officiated one client’s wedding.
Because many teens focus on relationship issues and managing school stress, a lot of what I find myself offering them are complex interpersonal skills (like how to have the difficult conversations that are needed to build deep friendships), training in how to maintain their composure (mostly through Somatics) and training in how to make great decisions, even under pressure. I also tend to offer them a lot of perspective that allows them to stay balanced and at ease, even when every one around them is stressed to the max.
Ultimately my goal is to help them develop the character, attitude and skills that empower them to lead extraordinary lives. I’m in the process of publishing a list of these 13 essential characters traits and skills for those on my mailing list.